We Roar in Our Own Voices
by thundercow
Summary: "I was supposed to be in Slytherin, though." — Shizuku, Ooshima, and how bravery comes in different forms. Hogwarts AU.


**notes** - written for a wonderful tnk!ladies thingathon being held on dreamwidth right now, the prompt is: Hogwarts AU. First time (actually) getting to each other, library, 5th year, one is prefect and the other is not, a normally tacitly 'taboo' discussion about the houses they almost got sorted into but didn't is held, and a brief cameo feat. Gryffindor!Natsume.

* * *

**we roar in our own voices**

"I-is it alright for me to sit here?"

Shizuku finishes the paragraph, marking it with her finger, before addressing the person talking to her. She's a prefect. A Hufflepuff prefect. Her dark hair and spectacles make her look very familiar.

"Okay." Shizuku moves to clear away the stack of books she'd placed on the desk next to hers. The library is especially crowded today, she realises. There are few spare seats left in the sea of studying students. Lingering her gaze on the girl as she orientates herself into the chair in the quietest manner, Shizuku places a name to her gentle profile. Chizuru Ooshima. She's not well-known in school for anything in particular, but Shizuku recalls seeing her name on the honour roll before, squeezed between some Ravenclaws and Slytherins. She's in the same year as her, too. No wonder she looks familiar. They must have passed each other in the halls countless of times in the past five years.

Ooshima catches her staring and eases a smile on her pale face, cautious and hesitant, before opening up her own study materials, fishing a quill out of her shoulder bag. Shizuku slides her gaze away from the girl and back to the current book she's digesting. The historical recordings degenerate into indiscernible scribbles at times. Shizuku squints and lifts the heavy tome off the table to get a better look at the words inked on the corner of the page, determined to decipher them. Ooshima sees the front cover of the book and produces a small noise of surprise.

"Yes?"

Ooshima widens her eyes in alarm when Shizuku speaks to her. She seems too timid to be a prefect.

"Um, Mizutani, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Oh, s-sorry, must be weird that I know your name, right? I see it on the honour roll all the time after exams so…" Ooshima tapers off. The tip of her quill taps softly on the surface of the desk, an outlet for her perpetual anxiousness. Shizuku wonders if it's because of her.

She then shrugs her shoulders at Ooshima. "It's not odd," she mumbles. It's just that few students outside of Ravenclaw actually pay attention to the overall academic results of the Houses. Shizuku likes it that way. It means less competition and minimal disturbances all around. She's already preparing for her N.E.W.T.s. Hogwarts offers many other avenues for the rest of the students to throw their passions at. Shizuku's never really found anything as rewarding as studying, of course.

"I apologise if I disturbed you, I was just surprised that you were reading this," Ooshima hurries to explain. Shizuku refers to the cover of the book: _'Slytherin: The Ascension of the Snake'_, a detailed account of Salazar Slytherin's life, stitched seamlessly together with the traditions and history of the Slytherin house.

"Why?"

"You're… in Ravenclaw, aren't you?"

Oh, that's true. Shizuku glances down, double-checking against the colour of her tie. She must look out of place with this book. "I like being thorough, so I just read whatever I can find," she tries to explain. She's not good with words when they aren't part of an equation or a thesis, but she tries.

"Ah, of course," Ooshima responds, her words cracking again.

"I was supposed to be in Slytherin, though," Shizuku says, remembering her sorting. She'd wanted so much to be a Slytherin like her mother. The Sorting Hat had told her that she would do well in Slytherin, but she would excel in Ravenclaw. Shizuku, eleven-years old and not knowing better, had trusted the Sorting Hat to put her in the house that would help her become a successful member in the Ministry of Magic like her mother. The hat chose Ravenclaw over Slytherin.

Maybe it's because she isn't pureblooded. Maybe it's because she doesn't have enough ambition as she should. Shizuku fingers with the corner of the page, smoothing it under her fingers, the action helping her calm her thoughts. She'd already resolved not to go back to this. She belongs here. It won't help her in any way. To keep herself steady, she recites her mother's words in her head: 'I'm proud of you, Shizuku' and feels a little less doubtful. Page 1065 remains between her fingers.

Ooshima seems to notice her discomfort because she places her own hand on the edge of the table, palm facing up. "I – I understand," she says, and maybe it's because they're whispering, but these words sound more genuine. "The Sorting Hat also asked me if I wanted to be sorted in Gryffindor instead."

Shizuku blinks. That's unexpected.

"I can't imagine why the Sorting Hat would ask me to consider Gryffindor," Ooshima laughs. It's a self-pitying kind of laugh that makes Shizuku tilt her chin and want to ask her 'why do you do this to yourself?' but that would be unsightly. Temperance. Tact. She nods as she jots down notes on her parchment, urging Ooshima on.

"The only reason I got this badge was because I fit the image of a prefect according to the House Head," Ooshima laughs, again with the same level of restraint, "and I didn't even want to be a prefect but when they told me there was no other candidate, I couldn't bring myself to reject them. There's not a brave bone in me."

"I agree," Shizuku puts it bluntly.

Ooshima's shoulders slant downwards, accepting the words with an embarrassed twitch of her lips. Shizuku watches her, wondering how she can carry on through life in such a way. But, looking at Ooshima and her eyes, darting around the room, as if searching for an escape, Shizuku realises that she may have gone too far. She has to stop relying on Natsume to be around to tell her when to be upfront and when to show a little more prudence with her words. She opens her mouth to apologise, but a loud, girlish yell breaks the quiet in the library

"Natsume! You have to come down!"

What a coincidence. Natsume is hanging off one of the exquisite chandeliers like an ornament. She's clutching desperately onto it while throwing exasperated looks at the boy standing underneath her. Predictably, it's Sasayan, the seeker of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team. Are the two of them at it again? Or rather, is Natsume at it again and does Sasayan have to clean up after her again? Better him than Shizuku, though.

"I – I'm perfectly fine," the girl coughs in reply. Shizuku finds it amazing that she can carry coherent conversation with the whole library staring at her, her voice bouncing off the high walls.

"I think you should admit that you used the wrong spell," Sasayan says, folding his arms, as unaffected by the attention as Natsume.

"I did not!" Natsume retorts, pointing her wand at him. This action causes her to lose whatever balance she'd managed to scrounge up. She screams as she falls backwards, her legs locking around one of the golden arms of the chandelier. Natsume clamps her knees together to keep her skirt from falling. She doesn't manage to do the same for her heavy robes, which are now obscuring her face. Even after being friends with her for five years, Shizuku still doesn't know what to think of this person. But at least the library is quiet again.

Ooshima shuts her book and tucks it neatly under one arm as she stands. "Looks like I have to go sort things out," she says, sounding worried as she pushes her vacant chair back into the table. She is quick to leave the tableside.

"Mm," Shizuku hums, flipping a page of her book. "And I'm sorry for what I said just now."

The sound of Ooshima's leaving footsteps stop.

"… Thank you. Um, see you around."

Shizuku looks up from the middle of a paragraph. She hadn't expected a reply. Natsume is still hanging from the chandelier and Sasayan is still cocking his head at her and Ooshima is standing still in the middle of the aisle, looking thoughtfully at Shizuku. She seems to be trying hard in her own way. Shizuku can see clear eyes behind those spectacles.

And then, she thinks there is a Gryffindor in this girl after all.

* * *

**ending notes - ** it's been a long time since i've read the books though, so i'm sorry if i goofed or if there isn't as much detail in the au!aspect of it. and i had a simultaneously wonderful and terrible time thinking of which houses would suit the characters?

yamaken's most def a slytherin. sasayan seems more like a hufflepuff than a gryffindor, though i considered placing him in the latter house first. for shizuku, i originally considered that she was ravenclaw!shizuku that might have been sorted in gryffindor, which meant that ooshima and her were supposed to be in gryffindor together. when i finished writing this though, i thought it made more sense that if slytherin!shizuku was almost sorted in ravenclaw too. but her mother would most definitely be in slytherin either way, haha. don't be surprised if i start writing hufflepuff!sasayan and gryffindor!natsume now.


End file.
